Weighty Wait

Restless
I am not good at waiting
For responses from anyone
From Him or him
I second guess myself
Over everything
Not how I want to spend my time
Agonizing, overanalyzing
Wondering what words meant
Or the lack of them
My chest feels heavy
Breathing feels labored
And I cannot figure out why
One moment the words between us flow easily
We smiled
And now we aren't really speaking at all
It's killing me
I pray He would help me let it go
But it is so hard
I want to be positive
To help, to understand, to encourage
You won't let me
So I wait
For Him
For you

My sailor

My sailor
Battle scarred and battle worn
But not without honor
A survivor of the storms of life
Hope is his steadfast anchor
Waves have covered him many times over
His lighthouse never far away
His wars are far more different now
For the strength to face another day
Still he has that sailor will
Liberty hard won
He will be his lighthouse still
Upon his journey home

Yet

I'm giddy
Feeling pretty
My smile stretches on for miles
You produce a heart of joy
And you don't even know yet

I long to someday hold your hand
Though I don't know if it's in His plan
It's you I want to understand
And you don't even know yet

I am becoming smitten
What makes you smile is hidden
A mystery to me
Your soft voice soothing as the sea
And you don't even know yet

I like you
Though it may be forbidden
A friendship beginning anew
Thoughts of you, but not a clue
And you don't even know yet

You have my attention
My ear and my heart
I wish I knew you better
What you are thinking
I don't even know yet

You know my name, my voice
But not yet my mind
You say I am a book you have yet to read
I want to tell you everything, everything
But you don't even know yet

bittersweet

It's bittersweet
When we meet
It shall be for the last time
Together
We weathered many storms
You were the trumpet breaking down my walls
Just when I embraced you
I realized I would face you
For the last time
Such sweet unity
Shared laughter and smiles
Now a few miles
Will keep us apart
So with a heavy heart
I wish you well

When I think about you

When I think about you, you overwhelm my senses
Your memory smells like salsa and sweet strawberries
Ocean breeze
Your memory tastes like the air after a desert rain, subtle and refreshing
Your eyes pierce me in the most calming way
You seek to understand me
You marvel at my words of wisdom
When I remember your smile
Identical in intensity
And that laugh, so easy and content
The most peaceful and refreshing part of my day
My heart sighs with relief
Your easygoing nature, carefree innocence
You throw your head back in pure joy and laughter
Coming to life, we both awaken
A beautiful mind, curious soul
Everything you dream of
I wish for you and even more than you will ever know
You are my inspiration
Thank you

Atlas Endures

Atlas Endures

Under pressure
Literally
A misconception think not I
A punishment for a wrong choice
So they say
But if Atlas shrugged, why can't I?

A burden far too much to hold
Stress breaks the thunderous sky
A sigh of relief, a catapult
If Atlas shrugged, why can't I?

Muscles tense, forward motion
The locomotive of life comes pummeling by
Nothing can stop this endless cycle
But if Atlas shrugged, why don't I?

Atlas Telamon
Condemned to hold the world until he dies
If Atlas learned to carry the weight
If Atlas accepted his fate
If despite his failures, he is considered great
Why, oh why not I?

inner ache

Born to bend, not to break
Still silent from that inner ache
Gently tickled ivories
Memories carried in the breeze
All feels winter now
Cold as snow on top the bough
But not breaking
Only aching
Restless and bones
Ashes and stones
A phoenix arise
A sudden surprise
Unknown, silent, hidden
Melancholy bitten
What is this hole?
The itch only cured by a fulfilled soul
Promised to bend, never to break
Or give up the ghost of the inner ache